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My own profile was born during the COVID-19 lockdown, sparked by a sudden urge to trade mindless Facebook scrolling for career productivity. Yet, as the connections grew, a foundational question surfaced that every career development professional must answer:
What is my actual purpose?
That inquiry – the purpose? – is an existential question I now wonder if most users ever consider before hitting the “Connect” button.
Decoding the client’s request
As a Registered Psychotherapist practicing career-focused counselling, my work with clients stretches far beyond career planning and mechanical job search methodologies. When we explore LinkedIn, a core issue that frequently emerges is impression management in the digital world. This is an especially delicate concern when a client has faced job loss, which often triggers identity questioning, feelings of shame, social comparison and a sense of vulnerability. Rather than addressing that deeper discomfort, clients often intellectualize their experience. Clients often ask me, “What tips and techniques do you have for me to build a network during this time?”
When confronted with this query, I try to listen for the human need beneath the question. Usually, my clients are looking for attachment, security and growth in one of three developmental areas:
- Resources: Seeking specific groups, platforms or events to find like-minded peers, reducing isolation and finding collective safety to move forward in their career transition.
- Refinement: Improving what they already do well to share knowledge, expertise and experiences more effectively, integrating their internal capabilities with external aspirations.
- Development: Learning how to build self-confidence from low-stakes digital interactions to comfortable, live conversations and eventually into complex, mutually beneficial professional relationships.
As career development professionals (CDPs) – educators, advisors, consultants, coaches and therapists – how do we respond when clients view networking as transactional? Do they even know they are accumulating connection quantities rather than building supporter quality?
In my practice, I find that most clients are unaware of this distinction. They assume an algorithmic illusion. The LinkedIn interface often encourages us to treat networking like a game of digital currency: the higher the number of connections, the more “successful” we feel.
Ultimately, LinkedIn is a room filled with human beings rather than an algorithm to be managed.
The mirrors of self-reflection
Instead of handing clients instructional “tasks/tips,” I offer them four self-reflective questions to re-humanize their approach to digital relationships:
- Empathy: Do you want someone to approach you with rehearsed “tips” and “techniques” when starting a new relationship with you?
- Clarity: When you reach out, do you clearly communicate exactly what you are seeking or is it a foot-in-the-door phenomenon?
- Transparency: Are you honest about your intentions or is there a hidden agenda?
- Authenticity: Are you putting forward your authentic self – both as a vulnerable human and a capable professional?
Beyond the “click”: re-humanizing the inbox
I maintain an intentional LinkedIn network. I have had a genuine interaction with every connection – whether through lectures, conferences, training sessions, casual chats or meaningful relationships that have evolved over time. Whenever I receive a connection request from someone unknown to me, I pause the transaction and initiate a human dialogue. I always ask two simple questions:
- How did you find me?
- How can I be helpful?
These additional steps intentionally humanize LinkedIn for me and hopefully for the person who reached out. How people respond or choose not to respond, can transform a digital transaction into a warm introduction, keeping the platform rooted in relationship-building rather than mindless clicks. Moreover, it clarifies the intent of the sender – revealing whether they see me as an algorithmic source, a superficial metric or a reciprocal collaborator.
The psychology of the “follower” identity
Of course, some professionals operate with a different motivation: accumulating a massive metric of followers. If that is the client’s goal, I offer these self-reflection questions to explore how this approach impacts their broader career identity:
- The motivation: What underlying purpose does it serve for someone new to networking to view a crowd of actual people as a digital tally?
- The etiquette: You sent no note with your request – is that truly how you would introduce yourself to a stranger in real life?
- The projection: Are you operating on the assumption that strangers will take the time to read your entire profile to figure out your intent? Is that fair social etiquette or a projection of your stance?
- The impact: How are your algorithmic-suggested connections being received by the human professional on the other side of the screen?
- The reality check: How is a rising follower count translating into meaningful career stability or personal fulfillment?
Ultimately, LinkedIn is a room filled with human beings rather than an algorithm to be managed. When we look past the numbers and focus on the quiet value of mutual collaboration, the platform naturally evolves from a list of names into a supportive professional community. For our clients, this shift can be a deeply healing part of their broader career-identity developmental journey – transforming the vulnerable process of professional transition from an exhausting exercise in self-awareness into a meaningful experience of cooperation. As CDPs, perhaps we can gently encourage them and remind ourselves, to look beyond the metrics today, opening the door to just one authentic, human conversation.
