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Following societal changes such as the COVID-19 pandemic and improvements in technology, telework (i.e. working from home) is an increasingly popular choice of work arrangement in Canada. A survey from Spring 2022 estimated that around 50% of Canadian employees telework for at least part of the workweek.
As a career practitioner, individuals or couples may come to see you for help surrounding their teleworking. Teleworking, or remote work, can be complex in couples as it crosses into work-life wellness (i.e. feeling well about how work and personal life interact).
Romantic partners who live together may experience negative impacts from remote work such as distraction, boundary violations, arguments and compromises. On the flip side, teleworking may improve closeness, collaboration and problem-solving. Career practitioners can support teleworking couples through asking thoughtful questions and broaching specific topics related to how they interact as a couple.
How can career practitioners support teleworking couples?
Start by showing interest in home and work dynamics. Ask questions about their teleworking situation:
- Do they work in an office or open space?
- Does their partner telework as well?
- Do they live with any children or pets?
You may also want to ask about common hazards and health issues related to remote work such as isolation, strain and over-working. Once you have gathered information about their situation, get specific about boundaries, needs, schedules, distractions and allocation of workspace in the home.
Rebecca Como will be presenting a session on “Teleworking Couples Cultivating Work-life Wellness Together: Ideas for Practice” at CERIC’s Cannexus24 conference, taking place virtually and in-person in Ottawa from Jan. 29-31, 2024. Learn more and register at cannexus.ceric.ca.
Boundaries
Couples may need help learning how to set and respect boundaries with their partner. The importance of boundary setting will depend on individual preferences for separation between work and personal life. Remote workers who prefer to separate work from personal life will benefit from strong boundaries. A career practitioner may ask:
- How would you describe your boundaries around telework?
- What are some signs that your partner is unavailable during the workday?
- How would you communicate to your partner that you are in a meeting to prevent interruptions?
Built-in and clearly communicated boundaries such as closed office doors, set schedules and white noise may prevent unintentional boundary violations by others in the home. Clear communication of boundaries and needs may take time and practice. Consider sending clients home with the setting boundaries worksheet, which describes healthy boundaries and provides opportunities for practice.
Needs
Teleworking couples may benefit from coaching around expressing their needs to their partner. Consider referring the client to couples counselling to practise expressing needs in a therapy space with their partner. It may be difficult for some people to advocate for their needs at home, so the therapy room can be a safe place to practise. Expressing a need may look like, “I would love it if you would share the private home office with me. Even working there two days a week would help me to be less distracted.” If the client or their partner are not open to seeking couples counselling, consider sharing strategies around how to express needs to the client and encourage them to share what they have learned with their partner.
Schedules
Teleworking couples may need help with organizing their schedules to allow for individual and couple time. While working remotely can promote closeness in some couples, it can initiate tension in others. Be aware that, if one or both partners are teleworking, there may be unstated resentment directed at spending too much (or too little) time together. You may ask:
- How many hours do you work in a typical workweek?
- How intense does your workweek feel?
- What do your friendships look like outside of the relationship?
- What activities do you like to do on your own versus with your partner?
Building a schedule can help couples form routines around working and personal life to promote harmony and variety. There are many calendar applications available for clients or they could build a dry-erase calendar board at home.
Distractions
Although remote workers may have less exposure to interruptions from co-workers and office politics, a new set of distractions can come from family members, pets and household tasks. You can support a teleworker in determining helpful ways to minimize distractions in the home. Dig into where the distractions are coming from during the workday. Is the teleworker able to influence any of these distractions through setting boundaries or communicating needs? If not, they may want to consider individual protection from distractions such as earplugs or room dividers. A home organized to prevent distractions can be instrumental in addressing distractions. Someone working in an open space may experience more distractions than someone working in a private home office.
Allocation of workspace in the home
Explore how the couple decided on allocation of workspace in the home. In cases where both members of the couple telework, one spouse may work in the kitchen and one spouse may work in a private home office. Do both members of the couple find allocation of workspace in the home practical and equitable? Teleworking couples may consider moving into a place with more rooms or renovating their existing space. As a career practitioner, you can support conversations around living arrangements with consideration for finances, location and space.
Where do we go from here?
Personal life and work are often more intertwined for people working remotely than for individuals working from the traditional office. Career practitioners can support teleworkers by showing interest in their work-life wellness and relationship with their partner. Career practitioners may want to explore boundaries, needs, schedules, distractions and allocation of workspace in the home. The next time a teleworker books an appointment with you, consider what questions you might ask – their work-life wellness and relationship quality may depend on it.
