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It had been nine months since my husband lost his job, and we were still reeling from that when I learned my own work contract would end in three months. Though my employer said they’d keep me on longer, I knew I needed to start job hunting – but I didn’t.
It was déjà vu: the sinking feeling that I wouldn’t be able to find a job again – and the financial turmoil that would follow. Re-entering the workforce had been an uphill battle the first time, with my self-efficacy practically non-existent, no contacts and hiring freezes during the economic downturn. A well-meaning career advisor told me I was only qualified for more volunteer work despite having volunteered for over 10 years. It was crushing.
Fast forward to the current moment – panic gripped me. It wasn’t just external chaos; it was the internal silence that was most unsettling. I felt stuck in quicksand.
The weight of uncertainty: Distrust and mistrust
For many of us, uncertainty triggers distrust and mistrust – sometimes both.
Distrust is a loss of faith in the system in response to specific challenges like job losses or broken promises. It puts us in high-alert mode. The upside is that it’s protective – a signal to proceed cautiously.
Mistrust, its quieter cousin, is murkier. It creeps in when things feel off, even if nothing is clearly wrong. Like inconsistent communication, chronic stress or past burnout. You start second-guessing your instincts, doubting others’ motives and questioning everything – including your ability and decisions. You analyze each step, wondering what brought you here.
Understanding which one you’re dealing with helps you move from reaction to reflection.
Why telling yourself to ‘just do it’ doesn’t always work
When you’re in survival mode, advice like “you got this” can feel hollow. Confidence often disappears exactly when you need it most – especially during layoffs, stalled career growth or long job searches. I reflected on what I had done to prepare for my first opportunity despite being told I wasn’t qualified to work. I had started small. My plans failed, and I fell flat on my face many times, reinforcing that advisor’s words. But I kept showing up.
When the shift happened
Months passed as we tried to reconcile, think, plan and push our way through. Nothing shifted except our energy; we both felt exhausted and drained. When I stopped forcing solutions and embraced the uncertainty, something shifted within.
Finally, I allowed myself to sit with the fear and self-doubt and feel the weight of it all, without trying to fix it.
“When I stopped forcing solutions and embraced the uncertainty, something shifted within.”
It wasn’t a breakthrough or a burst of inspiration. It felt more like the stillness that followed a storm. And in that stillness, I heard it – not a voice exactly, but a kind of knowing: “It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to start small. You’ve been here before, and you found your way through. You’ll find your way again.”
That moment didn’t erase my fear, but it gave me something more powerful: permission to trust myself. Not because I knew what would happen next, but because I knew I could handle whatever did. And that’s where self‑trust began—in quiet persistence, even when others doubted my worth.
From self-doubt to self-trust
Self-trust isn’t a dramatic leap of faith, but a quiet return to centre. It shifts your focus from what’s broken “out there” to what’s still whole “in here.” It helps us move forward even when the path isn’t clear.
Here’s what self-trust looks like in practice:
- Making decisions based on your values, not fear
- Validating your experience instead of outsourcing your sense of reality to others
- Trusting your pace, remembering that faster isn’t always better
- Recalling past resilience and reminding yourself you’ve done hard things before
- Taking aligned action before certainty arrives – and letting clarity meet you in motion
You build self-trust by honouring your values and boundaries, and by staying proactive and patient when ideal options aren’t available.
Sometimes, that means compromising on your desires like taking a temporary or imperfect role to buy time or maintain income – being intentional about your choices. Progress, not perfection, builds trust. Behavioural science shows that imperfect action fuels progress and helps overcome paralysis.
Balancing these choices – knowing when to hold your boundaries and when to adapt – strengthens your self-trust and resilience during uncertainty.
Applying self-trust when you hit a wall
Whether you’re job searching, changing careers or feeling stuck, these self-trust strategies can help you move forward without burning out:
- Build stabilizing routines to reduce mental clutter and create a sense of grounding
- Make one decision at a time, fully. Avoid half-decisions that linger in your mind and drain your energy
- Limit spiral-thinking. Let yourself feel, then shift toward planning and action
- Act in alignment, not panic. Even saying “no” to the wrong job strengthens your internal compass
- Take action even if it’s imperfect. Momentum matters more than mastery
- Practise patience – forward motion doesn’t always mean speed and instant results
- Pivot with purpose. Reflect, refine and re-engage. This isn’t failure – it’s learning in motion
Old toolkit with a new mindset
Chances are, you already know many or all of these tactics. But what changes everything is why and how you apply them.
This isn’t about confidence hacks or generating motivation. It’s about understanding that self-trust is a critical skill – like communication, leadership or problem-solving.
When you see it that way, you stop waiting for external clarity. You start using your inner compass to move forward – even when the map is missing.
Self-trust won’t give you all the answers. But it gives you:
- The quiet courage to show up when everything is unclear
- The space to think clearly and act with intention
You don’t need to be certain – just committed. You don’t need to be fearless – just willing.
So, ask yourself:
When has your self-trust helped you move forward – even if you didn’t call it that at the time?
