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Many people recoil when they hear the word networking. They associate it with using people/relationships to get an outcome. That doesn’t sit well with most people – nor should it.
As career development practitioners, we may encounter resistance when we bring up the topic with our clients. And yet, it is such a crucial tool in each person’s career. The task at hand is to reframe it for them. In fact, it’s not actually networking they despise – it’s what they mistakenly think networking is.
There are two types of networking:
- Intentional
- Everyday networking
There are times when we are seeking an outcome from networking. We need a hand, and that’s ok. We are interconnected and we help each other. At times, we are the recipient of help, and other times we are the giver, which is a great feeling.
Those moment where we need to ask for a hand are easier and more natural in the context of relationships. This is why the two types of networking I mentioned go hand in hand.
If we nurture the everyday development of connections, the “ask” we occasionally make will go smoother and won’t feel like using people. And if we are proactive in offering our help from the early days of a relationship, it will be very natural for the other to assist in whatever we need.
Everyday networking comes first in priority and in time. Put simply, it is being a decent human at all times. It’s composed of all the little, everyday interactions we have with others – anywhere, any time.
Author Tim Cork coined the phrase “netgiving.” As he points out in his book G3: The Gift of You, Leadership and Netgiving, “netgiving takes the ‘work’ out of networking.”
In netgiving, you enter an interaction with another person by asking the question “What can I do for them?” It makes giving our default attitude.
“If we nurture the everyday development of connections, the ‘ask’ we occasionally make will go smoother and won’t feel like using people.”
Sometimes we feel that we don’t have much to give; that the other person is more powerful/privileged/knowledgeable/gifted/experienced/advanced … what could I contribute? Sometimes, it can be as small as listening wholeheartedly. That is something within the reach of all of us. And it is priceless. Other times, it is sharing information – passing on an article or post you saw that that person might be interested in. Or making an introduction that might be mutually beneficial.
Going into an interaction with someone with the goal of figuring out what you can do for them means you will be focused on the other. You need to get to know them, to understand them as well as you can. When your focus is on them, not you, the magic happens. This is when:
- You become less self-focused and self-conscious
- You come across as more genuine; you are not trying to impress
- Trust starts to take root
- The beginnings of a long-term connection take place
It is a mindset. It is about being open to meeting new people and building new relationships. It’s about being receptive to others. Having conversations, being curious, being interested in others.
In the words of author Zig Ziglar, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
But it requires patience and time. Networking is not something you can cram in a few hours before you need it. It is an investment.
It’s like planting seeds without knowing what type of plant they will produce. But you plant them anyway, and water them, and care for them; you invest in nurturing them to maturity. Some people might not bother if they don’t know the type of seeds. Others will be excited by the adventure! With each new contact, we have no idea where it will take us, but often it goes beyond what we could have planned in our own limited imagination.
If networking is not about using people but about seeing how you can help others, it just might be enjoyable. The introverts in our midst might not quite be convinced yet. As career practitioners, this is where we come in. Whether working with an introvert or an extrovert, our clients may need some coaching on networking. Rather than telling them they need to do it, we need to get down to specifics about how to do it. How to have a conversation. What type of questions can help us get to know a person. How to work through the mental barriers that make them shy away from talking to a new person. How to wrap up the conversation.
We can also help our clients realize that they most likely already “network.” We connect with others every day. That’s networking – it’s simply how we show up. Networking starts with appreciating and nurturing our existing relationships.
If our clients are looking to broaden their network, there are various ways outside of traditional networking events. Two very effective options are:
- Informational interviews: While getting information and advice, you also get to know each other. Taking it a step further, a great question to ask in the interview is, “Is there anyone else you could introduce me to?”
- Volunteering: While gaining skills and experience, you form several connections, and you showcase who you are and how you work.
The cringeworthy notion of networking is outdated, unpopular and ineffective. We are in a position to educate our clients on what we really mean by networking, and give them the tools to make it work for them.
