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Families come in all shapes and sizes, each with unique strengths and challenges. The dynamic nature of family systems means that any change in any part of the system affects the rest. This can be particularly apparent within families where two inter-dependent people each have demanding career responsibilities that affect their availability for other responsibilities and life roles.
Think, for example, of a family with two parents, each in professional roles, with children in daycare. Or consider a couple, each up for promotion, but with the most appealing opportunities located in vastly different parts of the world. Imagine a parent who has been working outside of the home and is also primarily responsible for the children’s after-school care taking on a project that requires out-of-town travel and late nights at the office. In each case (and countless others!), as one member of the couple makes a career change, that change will disrupt the status quo at home and, quite likely, affect the others’ career options.
In our work researching dual-career couples, first in the early 2000s and now, 20+ years later, we’ve surfaced some of the challenges encountered by dual-career couples and the creative strategies they’ve used to thrive – in their careers and their other life roles.
To extend our research beyond the original focus on women in dual-career couples, the 2023 research participants were more diverse, including differences in age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, culture and whether or not the research participant was the primary income earner for the couple. Even with this greater diversity among participants, it was not surprising to learn that time pressures and balancing multiple roles remained key challenges for dual-career couples. Financial concerns also surfaced in both studies. For example, one 2023 participant was an accompanying partner on an immigration journey. He had taken on more household and childcare responsibilities to facilitate the transition, and moved from being the primary income earner to earning much less. He noted: “She was making so much money, and she can do whatever she wants to, and I was like counting the [cents] . . . I was not making the money.”
“… time pressures and balancing multiple roles remained key challenges for dual-career couples.”
Several participants noted that being part of a dual-career couple was a positive and beautiful experience. Partners can develop their careers individually while also supporting each other’s, growing as individuals and as couples, which ultimately can build a stronger relationship. In our preliminary study, we observed couples “passing the baton,” like in a relay race; one member of the couple’s career was prioritized for a period of time and then the other member’s career was prioritized next, as opposed to both careers growing or evolving simultaneously. This was similar in the 2023 research, but seemed more organic or fluid, with the baton passing occurring as needed (sometimes within a single day or week) rather than solely at significant life/career transition points.
This may, in part, reflect COVID-19 influences, which have resulted in greater reliance on technologies, more hybrid or remote working opportunities, and an increased expectation of flexibility and accommodations from employers. Participants highlighted flexible workplaces as being helpful to their success as a dual-career couple. They also emphasized the importance of collaboration within the couple – a true sense of working toward a shared goal and navigating the challenges together. This sense of working together extended even to situations where one member of the couple had more flexibility than the other and could fill in gaps as needed, whether financially by working an extra job or in terms of time by taking on more family responsibilities.
Many CDPs are working with members of dual-career couples without being aware of it. It’s important to recognize that within dual-career couples, career decisions are never made in isolation. We encourage you to expand career conversations to explore who is having an impact on – and will be affected by – your individual client’s career decisions. Such conversations can offer depth and context that will facilitate thriving across your clients’ dynamic and interconnected life roles.
